How to Make Someone Cry*

How to make an astronomer/astrophysicist cry:

“Can you tell me my horoscope?”
“Mercury must be in retrograde because (some news or personal event)”

How to make a geneticist cry:

“So-and-so must have a ____ gene because they did (some particular thing).”

How to make a botanist or birder cry:

Calling anything “the” followed by a family or genus name without acknowledging that there are species/subspecies/varieties.
E.g. “the crow”, “the oak”

How to make a climatologist cry:

“So why aren’t you a weatherman on TV?”
“If global warming is real, then why am I holding a snowball?”

How to make Buzz Aldrin cry punch you in the face:

Tell him the Earth is flat.

*not an actual How-To manual

Do you have any other examples in that vein? Tag me on Twitter and tell it to me!